Love and Longing
by Vigilluminatus
Summary: Elsa's and Anna's sisterly relationship is stronger than ever after the Great Thaw, now that there's nothing to hide anymore... until Anna does something impulsive, which changes everything. Can Elsa keep her powers in check? Will Elsa shut Anna out again and can Anna cope with that? And how will this affect Anna's relationship with Kristoff? Elsanna, Kristanna
1. Another kind of magic

Okay... this first chapter isn't really Elsanna in my opinion, but I guess you could read it into it. I don't think that there is such a big gap between a strong yearning for a long estranged sibling like those two and romantic love. There will be Kristanna too, though - incest was even more of a taboo in their time than it is now, so I don't think the two sisters would just jump into a relationship like it was nothing. And Kristoff doesn't get enough love around here - he is a nice guy! Well, let's see how it goes, I have some chapters planned, but I'm not yet sure how it will end.

I don't own Disney or Frozen yet... but I'm waiting for my chance.

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**Another kind of magic**

Beautiful.

Everything about Anna was beautiful.

Elsa had no idea why so many people – Anna herself first and foremost! – thought that she was more beautiful than her little sister. Sure, Anna did not possess Elsa's grace or composure – at least if her behavior at Elsa's coronation party was any indication – and there was no denying that the strawberry-haired girl was kinda naive about the world outside of their castle, most importantly about romance... but really, couldn't people see? Anna had qualities Elsa would maybe never possess, qualities that Elsa greatly admired... and sometimes craved. Anna was kindhearted, outgoing and genuinely funny, which would probably make the task of making friends in the outside world very easy for her, now that they were allowed to... and her little sister had tenacious willpower, bordering on stubbornness, something which Elsa, who would probably always be wary of her own decisions and her powers at least a bit, would never have.

Maybe it was these qualities which she admired so much that enveloped Anna in such an unearthly splendor right now... yes, that was probably a part of it. The other part were the sensations. In the last 13 years Elsa had barely ever seen her beloved sister while she grew up nearly as alone as Elsa, and she had forgotten how Anna's hair smelled or how her hugs felt like... the only thing that had remained in her life was Anna's voice, and after the death of their parents even that had become a rarity. And now she could hear her sister's adorable faint snores... she could inhale the scent of perfume and sweat, which somehow reminded her of a spring evening after a day full of fun... she had not been able to tear her eyes away from Anna's sleeping form, glowing in the moonlight.

And she could FEEL! She could FEEL Anna's face resting on her shoulder, FEEL Anna's warm body right next to her, like when they had been children, and her hands, now rid of her gloves, hopefully forever, sent pure delight through her body because of the unimaginable luxury of finally being allowed to embrace the most important person in her life again. All these things woven together... they felt like magic. Not her own cold, crude magic, but something mysterious and beautiful that seemed to transform the pretty, yet very human girl next to her into something greater... into a goddess.

Elsa caressed Anna's hair gently, causing the sleeping girl to snuggle up even closer to her older sister. The content smile, which had been present on Elsa's face since Anna had fallen asleep next to her, became a bit wider. She guessed that it had been an hour ago that she and Anna had stopped skating outside of the castle, both being thoroughly exhausted after the whole coronation and endless winter disaster... and Anna, not wanting to be separated from her older sister, insisted on sitting down with Elsa in her room to talk... and promptly fell asleep. Elsa didn't mind at all. Even now, with Anna asleep, Elsa's senses were nearly overwhelmed by simply being so close to her younger sister after such a long time apart... right now Elsa felt like anything more than that would make her explode by sheer joy.

The rational part of her registered that Anna was no goddess, even if the magic of closeness and sensation was fooling her eyes right now... but the bigger part of her didn't care. She would always view the younger girl as at least her guardian angel. Because today Anna had saved her not only from Hans' death blow, but from Elsa's own despair and loneliness. Elsa had shunned Anna, had nearly killed the only family she had left... and even when Elsa had completely lost the will to live, when she had WELCOMED death, Anna had still fought for her. For that Elsa would be eternally grateful... and from tomorrow on she would do everything in her power to make sure that Anna never was unhappy again because of her.

"I love you, Anna" she whispered, nearly inaudibly so that she would not wake her sleeping sibling. "More than my own life."

Well, that wasn't very impressive – for the last 13 years her life had not been worth very much, if anything. She could do better!

"More than Arendelle," she tried again. Well, yes, better. But she didn't really know Arendelle anymore... and although she was its queen and it was her duty to take care of the country, until she got to know it and her people again Arendelle was not even close to what she felt for Anna. She smiled and planted a soft kiss on Anna's hair.

"More than everyone and everything on this world combined."

And as frightening as that sounded, in this moment that was true. Tomorrow she would be a queen again, responsible for the welfare of her country, trying to make her parents proud by being a just ruler... but in this magical night, that belonged solely to her and Anna, if someone had made her choose between her baby sister and the whole world... well, Anna would have probably been bored out of her mind in the newly created void pretty soon.

Suddenly Anna stirred. Her lids fluttered and she yawned, looking adorable in the process. Elsa couldn't help it, she giggled.

"Elsa?" Anna mumbled sleepily. Then her eyes flew open. For a moment she looked at her older sister, astonished. Then her mouth formed a big grin. "Elsa! You're here! So it wasn't just a dream!"

Elsa giggled again and put her hand on Anna's cheek. She loved the feeling of Anna's warm, very much alive skin. A part of her wondered why she wasn't more shy and scared, considering she had actively avoided any contact with Anna for so very long, but since her whole body was currently filled with long suppressed love, boundless relief and deep thankfulness, there wasn't a place left in her body for fear to hide.

"No, it's not a dream, Anna," Elsa assured the younger girl, smiling tenderly. "I'm really here."

For one more moment Anna stared at her. Then the younger girl sighed, closed her eyes and put her head on Elsa's chest.

"I'm so glad," she murmured. "For a moment I thought..."

"That nothing had changed?" Elsa could feel Anna flinch slightly.

"... Yes," the younger girl whispered, pressing herself firmer against Elsa's body. "I thought that I woke up in my own bed... that none of the stuff with Hans, Kristoff and Olaf had happened..." She paused. When she spoke again, her voice sounded timid. "I thought that your door would be locked again."

Regret crept into Elsa's heart, causing very familiar pain. Fortunately enough there were still enough positive, warm feelings inside of her to do anything worse than cool down her temperature a tiny bit. She put her hands on Anna's head and back, hugging her dear sister gently, giving and taking comfort at the same time.

"I will never shut you out again, Anna," Elsa promised, her voice being a strange mixture of steady reassurance and fighting tears herself... tears of regret AND happiness to boot. "Never again. Pushing you away was the worst mistake I ever made."

"It's not your fault, Elsa..." Anna started, but Elsa interrupted her immediately.

"Some of it just IS, Anna," she replied. She swallowed when she remembered how many bad decisions, the trolls' to only tell riddles, her parents' to put their trust in control and suppression instead of love and training, the Duke of Weseltons to nearly push her to extremes, but also many of her own, had nearly caused a total catastrophe. "But it's not important anymore. You saved me... from everything." A short, thoroughly happy laugh escaped her throat. How long had it been since this had happened? "Oh, and all of Arendelle too."

She could practically FEEL Anna smile. "I was merely being selfish, Elsa," Anna countered, her voice soft and content. "I just wanted my big sister back. Everything else just... happened."

Now Elsa laughed out loud. How could she have forgotten how GOOD that felt? "I always knew that you were a bag of accidents just waiting to happen, dear sister," she snickered.

"Hey!" Anna sat up and pouted. Oh, how much Elsa had missed pouting Anna! "YOU just said that my accident saved us this time!"

Elsa put her arms around Anna's neck and pulled the other girl's head up against her chest again. It had only been seconds, but Elsa had already begun missing her little sister being so close to her. They had lost way too much time together already. "I never said that your naive spontaneity and stubbornness weren't good things," she breathed, trying to put all the adoration she felt for Anna into her voice. She smiled. "They are YOU... so of course they are."

"Thanks," Anna mumbled. "I guess."

Elsa chuckled. She really wished that this night could last forever, that she could stay this close to Anna forever... but tomorrow would come eventually. And then her duties awaited her. There would still be way more time to spend with Anna than she would have dreamed just a few days ago... but still, this very first night of being together again was special. And it would be over way too soon.

"I never thought I'd see this room again," Anna's words interrupted her melancholic thoughts. "It hasn't really changed much."

"No, it hasn't." And there was a reason for that. "Through all the time I spent in here... it has become my prison as well as my sanctuary." Elsa thought back... for so long the only things that this room invoked in her were fear, sadness and loathing... and now all of that was gone. "I didn't want to change this room, because it would still be my prison. Prettying it up wouldn't have changed that. And... somehow I had also convinced myself that this room was keeping everyone else safe from my powers. And with that came some strange superstition that if I changed something in the room, I would also change and completely lose control." She paused for a moment. "Things only changed when something became too small for me... and it was always the servants exchanging those. I didn't do anything."_ Often I didn't even WANT to do anything... but die._

"Oh Elsa." Anna's voice practically oozed compassion. Her baby sister had always been a very emotional being, had always worn her heart on her sleeve. Since the accident Elsa had always been envious about how easy it was for Anna to FEEL... and she would probably always be. "We don't have to talk about these things. I mean, we only just survived a magic winter, assassination attempts and you trying to teach me skating... it's totally okay if we focus on learning to live with each other again, before you tell me everything... and it's even okay if you never tell me everything, I completely understand if it's too painful..."

"Anna," Elsa laughed, putting her finger on the younger girl's lips. "You're rambling." She grinned. "Which I find pretty adorable, but as a princess you should try to avoid it."

"I'm sorry," Anna mumbled. Elsa imagined her blushing right now, even if she couldn't see the face pressed against her chest. "It's just... nobody should suffer as much as you have, Elsa. I wish I could take all this pain away."

"Silly Anna." Elsa gently forced Anna to look at her and kissed her sister's forehead. It was her first kiss since she had been five and it sent waves of fulfillment through her body. This was what she should have never stopped – loving and showing how much she cared about her baby sister. "You already are doing that... by just being here."

Anna pouted again. "You're mocking me," she complained.

"No, I'm not." Elsa's smile vanished. "I did everything – really EVERYTHING – I could to keep you away from me, Anna... and yet you never gave up on me. Even when I WANTED to die, after Hans lied to me... you still wanted to safe me." She stroked Anna's cheek. "You are amazing, Anna. Thank you."

Anna stared at her, clearly fighting tears now, then she leaped forward and threw her arms around Elsa's neck. Since their cheeks were pressed together firmly, Elsa could feel Anna's warm tears.

"I couldn't lose you again, Elsa," Anna whimpered. "Not again... not after everything finally made sense."

"Shhhh," Elsa made, softly stroking Anna's back. "I'm here, Anna. I'm not going anywhere." And why would she? Being accepted by their subjects... knowing how she could control her powers... being with the one she loved most... everything she ever really wanted – she had it now. "And I hope you won't leave me anytime soon to run away with this ice fellow..."

"Elsa!" Anna shrieked and sat up, blushing madly – even in the pale moonlight this was clearly visible. "There is NOTHING going on between me and Kristoff!"

Elsa was giggling now. It felt so GOOD to behave like a carefree teenager! "Oh, I don't know," she said. "On the ice rink you seemed to be pretty familiar with each other..."

"You're teasing me! Me, the little sister who selflessly protected and saved you!" She began to grin. Elsa felt uncomfortable suddenly. "You clearly are an evil witch... that means you need to be PUNISHED!"

And with that the younger girl pounced on Elsa and started to playfully wrestle with her older sibling. Elsa played along and for the next few minutes the two sisters continued their ludic struggle, both feeling like they were little kids again. Then Anna fell down next to her sister.

"I'm too exhausted for that," she said and yawned. "It was a long day. I'll have to punish you properly another time."

"Mmh, you really want to risk that?" Elsa asked and played with a curl of Anna's hair. She couldn't get enough of its softness on her skin. "I'm an evil witch, remember? I might throw you into a dungeon while you're asleep."

"I guess I'll just have to hope that you're an honorable villain then," Anna mumbled and snuggled closer to her sister. She paused for a moment, her eyes closed. "Elsa? Can I ask you one more question?"

"Of course you can, Anna," Elsa agreed, putting her arm around Anna's shoulder. "Anything."

"Back then, when you retreated into your room," Anna began, now sounding a little less sleepy. "When I started knocking on your door... begging you to come out... did that... hurt you?"

"Oh Anna!" A sad feeling crept into Elsa's heart. Already half-asleep, Anna still worried about her. "It wasn't..."

"Elsa!" Anna's hand grabbed Elsa's arm. Although her eyes were still closed, it was a tight grip. "Please – tell me the truth."

Elsa hesitated, but then she sighed. "Yes, Anna. It was very painful," she admitted. "But it wasn't YOU who caused this pain... it was the fact that I couldn't BE with you. You simply didn't know..." _And in hindsight, I think we should have told you everything back then._ She continued caressing Anna's hair. "Let me tell you something, Anna: Do you know what kept me sane in these long years, away from you, without any other friends, often even without our parents?"

"Hmmm?" Anna asked. It seemed sleep was finally catching up with her.

"It was three things," Elsa continued. "The first was my duty. I knew that one day I would have to rule Arendelle – and that I needed to gain control over my powers to be accepted. The second were our parents." Elsa smiled sadly. She could still remember their faces of course, it had only been three years... but she had long since forgotten how their mother's embrace of their father's kisses on her forehead had felt. "I wanted to make them proud of me... if not by controlling my magic, then by being the ruler they wanted me to be, just, competent, respected. Those two made me belief in a better future... and then there was you." Elsa looked down on her sibling softly. Anna was breathing slowly now. Maybe she was already asleep, but even if she was, Elsa needed to say this. "You never gave up on me. You continued to love me when you had no reason to. You gave me the strength to endure the bleak present back then."

And there was more to that. Elsa was pretty sure that Anna was asleep now. That was probably good... she wasn't sure if she was ready to tell her innocent little sister about the darker parts of their big adventure. Anna saw her as a completely good person, someone who had suffered a lot and deserved to be forgiven for anything she had done... but there was also darkness inside of her. She had felt it when the two... attendants of the Duke of Weselton had attacked her. For one terrible moment, when Hans had shouted that she shouldn't become the monster everyone thought she was... she had been tempted to do just that. To kill those two men, to unleash all the anger of thirteen lonely years and show everyone how serious she was in wanting to be left alone. This was when she would have abandoned her parents' legacy and wishes, her duties already having been left behind when she had fled Arendelle.

The only thing back then that had held her back had been Anna. She had thrown Anna out of the castle, but she had known that her younger sister still loved her and wanted her back. It had been a painful, yet also comforting feeling in her free, yet lonely situation. Had she become a cold-blooded killer... then she would even have lost Anna's loving memory. She would have been utterly alone... like on the frozen lake, when her little sister had transformed into a lifeless statue.

Elsa hadn't been able to think back then, she had been way too busy grieving, but had Anna's sacrifice not saved her from Elsa's magic, then Elsa could only imagine two outcomes: death or rage. The more likely thing to happen would have been suicide – the only sure way to escape her constantly growing pain. Back then she wouldn't even have cared if this would save Arendelle anymore. She would have cried all the tears she had to offer... and then she would have impaled herself on an ice spike. The second option would have been revenge... killing this manipulative bastard Hans for lying to her and causing Anna to run away from her True Love's kiss, into her icy death. And since there would have been nothing left in this world that Elsa cared for... the violence might not have stopped there.

Elsa shuddered. Anna was her conscience. She was warmhearted, optimistic, brave, feisty and loving... as long as she was alive, she would always be a reminder for Elsa that life had more to offer than pain. That all her sacrifices had not been in vain. She smiled while watching her sleeping sister's form lovingly.

"You are one who keeps my heart from freezing," she whispered. "I will need you in the future, Anna... please don't ever leave me."

She knew that this was a selfish wish... true, as long as Elsa did not have children, Anna was her heir, but maybe one day she would want to see the world. Maybe things with this blonde guy would not work out and she would marry a prince of a foreign country. Or – and she would do ANYTHING to prevent that from happening – one day Anna would simply die. But the little child inside of her cold soul, the one that had been forced to grow up too soon, hoped that Anna would at least WANT to stay close to Elsa as much as Elsa in return craved her little sister's company.

Now she was finally getting sleepy too. Well, it wasn't a bad thing... tomorrow she had many things to do, with all the damage she had unwittingly caused. She kissed Anna's forehead once more.

"I love you," she breathed. "Please still be here when I wake up."

And with that, the queen of Arendelle finally fell asleep. With a soft smile on her lips, something that her pillow had not seen for a very long time. A smile that, she hoped, Anna would conjure forth every day from now on. With her sister's own special kind of magic.

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Please tell me how you like it!


	2. An impulsive act

Sorry this took so long. My workload suddenly increased since a colleague was officially ordered to take a vacation and his duties are mine now. Ah well, at least I get paid better. Let's get to the part where Anna does the stupid thing...

Thanks for the reviews! I'm not sure if I should continue this though, since I'll have hardly any time to write in the next months...

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**An impulsive act**

The sun was evil.

It was simple logic. Why else would this vengeful thing mercilessly force humans out of the coziest sleep with the nicest dreams, every day at that? And the architects who had planned the Arendelle Castle had obviously been sun cultists, since they had designed her room so that the sunlight would make direct contact with her head at a truly ungodly hour... and the guys who had put her bed in exactly this location were probably at least acolytes in the cult too.

Princess Anna groaned and pulled her pillow over her head. It was a conspiracy, she knew it! One that needed to be revealed and punished, though preferably not so soon in the morning... this sun conspiracy that was trying to ruin this day that was supposed to be a great one, the day she had been eagerly awaiting, that day on which...

Anna's eyes shot open. Then a smile formed on her face. Today was the day! THE day! She let out a delighted squeal and sat up in bed, clapping her hands. All moody thoughts about evil conspiracies about merciless light deliverers were forgotten. She had been waiting for this for so long! She had to get ready, she had already wasted way too much precious time! She was so excited that she might even consider forgiving the sun for being so cruel to her earlier... at least today waking up early was a GOOD thing! Alright, the light in the sky would be forgiven, Anna decided while she jumped out of her bed, trying to get dressed as quickly as possible. She'd ask Elsa to pardon the sun later, although it had tormented her dear baby sister.

Next was... oh. Her hair. Her good mood diminished a bit. She groaned and sat down, reaching for her brush. Why couldn't her hair be like Elsa's? Actually, the hair of the two of them was a pretty good symbol for their being – Anna's being lively, stubborn and the color as vibrant as Anna was, and Elsa's always emphasizing the queen's grace, and the color obviously hinting at her magic. That's at least how Kristoff had once described them, in order to cheer Anna up after he had seen her bird-nest morning hairstyle and she had started pouting because of his annoying giggling. Anna started smiling again. Back then she had mumbled that she'd rather have Elsa's hair since it was always beautiful... and then Kristoff had kissed her cheek and had told her that she would not be Anna anymore then. And that he would never want that to happen.

Anna started humming, her good mood returning. Kristoff was such a sweetheart. And who would have thought? When they had met each other for the first time, he had been grumpy and straightforward near to the point of being offensive... who would have guessed that this not very social, yet warmhearted and good-looking fellow could be such a sweet-talker, if he wanted to? Anna was a very emotional being, and she was honest enough to admit – at least to herself – that she got sad or angry just as quickly as she became happy. Having someone like Kristoff around her gave her... she didn't really know how to call it... maybe stability?

Even Elsa, as much as her sister appreciated having Anna around her, admitted that the redhead didn't think things through most of the time, but went into things with all the more enthusiasm. Kristoff managed to make her feel fulfilled, even if she did nothing but being near him... a feeling that Anna had never known before. She had always been a bundle of near boundless energy, and most of the time the world moved too slow for her... but since Kristoff had become her boyfriend, she had started discovering and appreciating the details of the world when she slowed down.

Sometimes Anna felt still a bit restless... she really liked being around Kristoff, and he seemed to feel like that too, but there were still some unanswered questions. For example she was still a princess and Kristoff had been born as a commoner. And although Anna would be the first to say that she herself wasn't nearly as proficient in navigating through the ocean of politics as Elsa was, she had to admit that she still had had an education in princess-related topics... court conversation and dancing being her favorites, and although she wasn't particularly interested in them, she probably knew more about law, history and other nobles than Kristoff did. And if they decided to marry, he would have to learn many new things and behaviors.

There were also the people who thought that both her and Elsa needed to marry princes as soon as possible, also because an alliance with another nation would benefit the country, but mainly because it had always been that way. And while Elsa would vehemently defend Anna's right to hold onto true love if she had really found it with Kristoff, she wasn't disinclined to a marriage of convenience and not loving her future husband if Anna was allowed to find happiness with Kristoff in return... and her older sister had been pretty surprised at how furious Anna had gotten from hearing that Elsa intended to sacrifice her own happiness for Anna's sake AGAIN. It had been one of the worst disagreements they had ever had. They had never spoken about this again since then, but it was still the case that not all of their subjects would accept Kristoff as their ruler, not to mention other nations.

Anna shoved these depressing thoughts aside and put away the brush. Although Arendelle was still recovering from Elsa's not-so-eternal winter a year ago, it wasn't all bad – some nations had become more distant, but Arendelle had already been pretty far removed from international politics thanks to Anna's and Elsa's VERY sheltered upbringing... and other nations, first and foremost Corona, had in return forged stronger relationships with their country than before. Anna had been very surprised that her and Elsa's cousin Rapunzel from Corona had had bad experiences with magic too, and that way the two princesses and the young queen had forged a strong bond between the three of them. And like that, the situation between her and Kristoff was not hopeless – it was for them to decide how important their relationship was. And although it was something very new for her, Anna would allow herself plenty of time to figure out just how much the mountain man meant to her. She REALLY did not want another incident like with Hans.

She shuddered and stood up. These thoughts were for another day – today there were more important things to do. Anna's smile returned to her face and she hopped excitedly, giggling uncontrollably. She couldn't wait! This would be SUCH a great day! She looked in the mirror. Good enough! Her not quite matching outfit and her hectically combed hair certainly wouldn't be acceptable in polite society, but since the day was supposed to be private, it should be good enough. And she couldn't wait any longer. She immediately went over to her door, took a deep breath, opened it and stormed through.

Right into the other person.

Both of them fell to the ground, yelling in surprise. Anna was already forming three different apologies in her hyperactive mind, which would have probably lead to one of her famous ramblings, but fortunately the other person regained the use of his voice sooner.

"Anna? Why are you running around like crazy?"

"Kristoff?" Anna pushed herself up. She blinked. It was indeed the mountain man, now looking like he had had a serious disagreement with Sven... or a small avalanche. Then she realized what he had said. She started pouting. "And why are YOU complaining? This is MY room! I can leave it whenever I..."

Before she could continue her rant any further, Kristoff started grinning, put his hands around her waist and pulled her down, producing a surprised yelp on her side. But it was cut short when he sealed her mouth with his own. Anna immediately forgot that she had been annoyed and returned the kiss. There had been a critical shortage of hugs and kisses in her life so far, and although Elsa and Kristoff were doing their best to rectify this, they still had a lot of "work" ahead of them. Her hands found Kristoff's hair, and she digged her fingers into it, pressing his head harder against her's. She loved it when he held her in his arms. It gave her a sense of security. She normally was a very optimistic and happy person, but there was a part of her deep inside that was afraid... afraid that she would lose all the people she cared about again. Like she had lost Elsa fourteen years ago. Or like she had lost her parents. But when Kristoff held her, he felt sturdy and permanent as a mountain. He generated a feeling inside of her that he would never leave her. And Anna relished this feeling.

She didn't know how long it had lasted, but certainly long enough to use up all the oxygen in her lungs. She lifted herself up, panting. "What were we talking about?" she asked a bit dizzily, a very visible blush lightening up her cheeks.

Kristoff smiled. "Nothing important," he answered playfully. "I think you wanted to tell me VERY CALMLY where you were running so fast."

Anna grinned. She liked this side of him. It was a side he never showed to anyone, not even Sven. Only when he was around her. It made her feel special. She laid down on his chest and looked at him seductively. "Well, I was searching for my sister," she purred. She refrained from licking his cheek. It WAS a bit early for such kinky stuff. "You wouldn't know where she is?"

"Maybe," he growled back, his hands beginning to slowly massage her hips. "And maybe I could help you find her."

"Oooooh," Anna sighed, only partially acting – his hands were quite successful in raising her body temperature. "You would really do that? Then I hope you will accept this as compensation..."

And with that she kissed him again. She loved this little bit of acting between them. It was silly, it was infuriatingly teasing if it was her that had less self-control on a specific day, but it was THEIRS. Kristoff's lips responded to her's, her own soft lips melting into the tiny dents and hardenings of his rough, weather-beaten lips. She couldn't get enough of this! The two of them had kissed to often since last year, and still it was never enough... and since they could not go any further, partly because a princess getting pregnant out of wedlock would damage the reputation of her country and partly because Elsa would murder Kristoff in cold blood if he dared to get her precious baby sister into such a predicament, as many kisses as humanly possible had to do. Kristoff didn't seem to mind...

"Ahem."

The voice sounded very amused, but that didn't hinder Anna from blushing furiously and pushing herself away from Kristoff, causing him to groan in protest. Although pretty much every member of the staff had already seen her and Kristoff in... rather close positions, she still felt a bit nervous about being caught. That didn't mean that she was ashamed of Kristoff, no, certainly not, it was just that... When she saw who had walked in on them though – if you could say that since they were currently lying outside of her room in public space – her mind-rambling was interrupted as all the nervousness disappeared, making room for unbridled happiness.

"Elsa!"

She jumped up and immediately pulled her grinning big sister into an enthusiastic hug. Elsa returned it, in a much more dignified manner of course. Other people might have perceived Elsa as being reserved, but Anna knew that even now, one year after the Great Thaw, Elsa was hesitant about touching other people. She wasn't scared of it anymore, but years of solitude had made her shy in that area of human interaction.

The only exception was Anna. After the Great Thaw there had even been a brief time when Elsa had shied away from Anna again. Her thirteen year long training had still been strong. But Anna hadn't allowed that. She had fought for her sister, had forced her way into her life again... and fortunately enough Elsa had dropped her guard pretty soon. Matter of fact, Anna liked to joke that Elsa had become addicted to her little sister. Since the young monarch was still hesitant to form close bonds to other people, Anna was the only outlet for her craving for a close relationship. If Anna hadn't been so blissfully happy about Elsa's actions, she might have teased her beloved older sister how dependent on Anna's hugs she had become. Well, she still did do that sometimes.

"Happy birthday, Elsa," she whispered softly.

"Oh, it's my birthday?" Elsa ended the hug, but she still grinned at her little sister. "Were you and Kristoff then practicing the kiss you are going to give your most beloved sister?"

"Elsa!" Anna was tempted to start blushing again, but she chose against it and instead punched her sister, starting to giggle. "I am NOT going to kiss you!"

"Oh!" Elsa was looking really crushed suddenly. It would have been heartbreaking if her voice had not sounded so overly dramatic. "So you don't love me anymore..."

Anna quickly gave her a peck on the cheek and grinned at her sister. "Well, not on the mouth. At least not in front of other people."

"Thank God," Kristoff uttered behind them while standing up. "There's really enough talk about how close you two have become going around without that."

Anna stuck out her tongue and linked arms with her big sister, putting her head on Elsa's shoulder. "And what's wrong with that?" she asked pouting. "We've lost enough birthdays together already!"

"Speaking of which," Elsa interjected, smiling. "Isn't it MY birthday? If you won't kiss me properly, shouldn't I get a compensation present?"

Anna started beaming as she looked at her. "Oh, there is one," she announced, becoming excited again. "And you'll never guess what it is!"

"She knows."

Anna head turned around. She stared at Kristoff, thunderstruck. He just shrugged.

"She does. She told me earlier when you were still asleep." He looked at Elsa. "And you should not lead her on like that, Elsa," he chided the older sibling. "You know how excited she gets about surprises."

Anna looked at her sister again, but Elsa lowered her head. "No... Elsa! You knew?" she asked, her voice quivering. She had tried SO hard to keep this present a secret. All the preparations and keeping her excitement in check while she was around Elsa... that was not fair!

"I'm afraid so," Elsa sighed, putting her hand on Anna's cheek. She truly hated this crestfallen look on her usually so upbeat sister's face. The world always seemed a bit darker to her when she saw Anna like that. "It was an accident, I swear – I just overheard two maids talking about what you were doing. They said that it was so sweet, you talking to all my ministers behind my back, convincing them that I deserved a few days off – a real vacation, not like last time when someone came to my room after just a few hours because of some documents, ruining the mood. And how they were surprised that you were so successful in keeping it a secret, with your adorable blabbermouth – my words, not theirs," she quickly added. "And well... then I found a list lying around in your room, when I was looking for you a few days ago... with things like a carriage, provisions and the names of a few villages around Arendelle on it. It wasn't very hard to guess what you had planned after that." She bit her lip when Anna started sniffing. "Anna, I'm sorry. It just happened."

"But it was supposed to be a surprise." Anna couldn't believe it. All this work and now... "I wanted this to be the most special birthday ever and..."

"And it is," Elsa interrupted her, smiling encouragingly. "Anna, you acted completely against your nature while keeping this a secret from me. You planned this for weeks although I know that you are a rather spontaneous person." She took her hand away from Anna's cheek and put it under her chin. "Anna, THAT tells me how much you care for me – not the present. I can't tell you how happy you have made me."

"But..."

"Look, why don't we go to the carriage now?" Kristoff interjected. He grinned. "You," he pointed at Anna, "can still mope that everything is ruined now when you are on your way. And you," he pointed at Elsa, "can reassure her how great this present is in the carriage as well as here."

"Mope?" Anna blinked, then her eyes started to gleam angrily. "I'm NOT moping!"

Elsa laughed. "But Kristoff is right, Anna," she told her sister. "I really, REALLY love your present. But right now you are keeping me away from it. Let's go. I don't know ALL the details yet, but I'm really anxious to find out what you have planned for me."

Now Anna finally started to smile again. "Alright. Then let's go."

* * *

"I didn't know riding was part of this vacation too," Elsa said, looking around her. She and Anna had left the castle in the hired carriage and Anna had soon become her usual bubbly self again. Elsa had felt relieved. The last thing she wanted was Anna feeling depressed today. Anna wouldn't like to hear that, but Elsa didn't really care that much about the vacation... she was happy because it was just her and Anna, and she was happy that Anna was happy about the little sister having managed to make Elsa happy... great, Anna's rambling seemed to be contagious.

Anna jumped off the horse. They were not that far away from Arendelle yet, but Anna had told the coachman that they would take one of the horses and ride into the wood next to them for a few hours. The man seemed to have known that this would happen so there had been no problem. This was one of the things that hadn't been on Anna's list, so Elsa had been intrigued. And now Anna was standing on a rather beautiful glade that was covered with all kinds of flowers, beaming at her.

"Well, it wasn't that far," her little sister commented. "You're spending far too much time inside anyway, Elsa."

Elsa snorted.

"So... what do you think?" Anna was looking at her expectantly.

Elsa looked around again. It was a bit like their palace garden... not as orderly, of course, this was untouched nature, but with the old trees shielding them from civilization and the sun shining down on them... this was a nice place. Peaceful.

"It reminds me a bit of our garden at home," she answered. "Do you remember when we were playing tag there?" She smiled fondly when she remembered the two of them running around as kids, giggling madly. That had been such a long time ago...

"Exactly," Anna agreed. "But in this place no one will come and order you to get inside to sign another load of stupid documents."

"They are not stupid, Anna."

"You know what I mean." Anna grabbed her hand. "Now give me the picnic basket and get down here! I'm starving."

Elsa giggled and obeyed Anna's stomach. "You are always starving," she noted. "How did you find this place anyway?"

"Kristoff found it, when he was a little boy. He was traveling around as much as he could, when he wasn't working, to see as much of Arendelle as he could." Anna put down the picnic basket and opened it. "It seems he was quite an adventurer. Bulda must have been worried sick about him nonstop."

Elsa grinned, sitting down. "That kinda reminds me of someone," she remarked.

"What do you...? Hey!" Anna looked up, frowning. "I wasn't THAT bad as a kid!"

Elsa giggled. "No? What about the time when you hid in the cells beneath the castle during Hide and Seek? It took us four full hours to find you, and mama and papa were worried sick."

Anna snorted. "That was one time."

"And what about all the times when you ran away from us when we were at the market? Mama was thinking about getting a leash for you more than once."

"That's a lie!"

"And when you tried to climb up to my window without any help once?" Suddenly Elsa's good mood was vanishing. "You could have been badly hurt, Anna."

Anna looked down. "I just wanted to see you," she whispered. "I was so desperate. You hadn't spoken to me for more than a year."

Elsa put her hand on Anna's. "I'm sorry," she said. Nothing more. Over the last year they had had every possible kind of discussion about the infamous thirteen years. Not that this had made her guilt disappear. It probably never fully would.

"It's okay. "Anna looked up again, and Elsa could see that she was forcing a smile on her face again. Which was hardly ever a problem for Anna, but with this topic it certainly was. "Hey, do you know, why me and Kristoff chose this place to picnic? Cause he knew others like this."

Elsa shook her head.

"Look at these trees," Anna told her and sat closer to her sister, pointing at a group of trees which wasn't as dense as the others. "Look behind them. What are you seeing?"

Elsa narrowed her eyes. Behind the other trees around them were just more trees, but these weren't so far from the forest boundary... you could see the things behind them... you could see... her eyes shot open.

"Arendelle?"

Anna grinned. "Exactly," she told her. Her little sister's gaze became soft. "You know... when Kristoff and I decided that we would use this place, it was mainly because we could see the castle from here. Where you were busy doing queenly things. And you know... in a way... it felt like you were here... with us." Anna blushed a bit.

Elsa's heart melted. It was not literally frozen of course... but it usually was so heavily guarded that some people still called her the "Snow Queen" although she had not frozen anything on accident for exactly one year now. There were precious few people in whose presence this guard was dropped a bit... Kai, Gerda, Rapunzel, Kristoff for example... but the only person around whom Elsa could be herself fully was and would probably always be Anna. The one who would never give up on her. The one who would believe in her if she didn't even believe in herself. And whenever Anna said such simple, loving things as right now Elsa's trust was rewarded and her love for her little sister grew a bit more. She put her hand on Anna's.

"Oh Anna," she whispered. "I wish I could spend more time with you. I wish I could spend whole YEARS with you to make up for the ones we lost."

"You do important work, Elsa," Anna said and enveloped Elsa's hand with her own. "And I'm incredibly proud that you have become such a great queen even though you have spent so much time in your room." She smiled the gentle, happy smile that touched Elsa's heart every time she saw it. It made Elsa want to hug Anna fiercely and never let her go. "And you know, you can start right now. We have nearly a week which we will spend together – just the two of us."

"Indeed." Elsa grinned. "I still don't know how you got Kristoff to agree to this – the way you say it makes it seem like we were a married couple."

"Elsa!" Anna blushed and punched Elsa's arm. She huffed. "You're teasing me again! And I tried so hard to do something nice for you!"

Elsa laughed. "I AM your big sister, Anna," she reminded her sibling. "Who else is gonna teach you about teasing but me? But I'm getting a bit hungry too – shall we eat now?"

The next hour was one of the nicest ones in Elsa's entire life. She and Anna were eating, sharing stories, laughing, making flower crowns and lying in the summer sun next to each other. A blissful smile was plastered on Elsa's face. THIS was what letting go was about – not leaving everything and everyone behind, but sharing your true self with those you loved. She felt like she was floating in pure content while she listened to Anna talking about many different topics.

"... and it was a bit creepy, since you told me that the ambassador would probably try to get information about you from me, but all he did was asking questions about ME! I still have no idea why he was only interested in me."

Elsa sighed. "Anna, when will you stop thinking that you are just a spare?", she softly chided her sibling without bothering to turn her head. The sunlight on her face was a much too nice feeling to do without it for even a second. "The ambassador told me later how an enchanting, lively person the princess of Arendelle was. You simply charmed the man."

"But why me?" Anna sat up and looked down at her sister. "YOU are far more beautiful than I'll ever be, Elsa."

Now Elsa opened her eyes and looked at Anna. She really didn't understand why Anna thought so low of herself when all Elsa could see was a beautiful young woman... but to be fair, Anna had in return seen beauty in Elsa's magic when Elsa herself had feared it. "Well, even if that WAS true, your personality would still be WAY more warm and charming than mine," she told her sister with a firm voice. "And I'm sure if Kristoff was here, he would agree with me."

Anna pouted. "I don't like it when you two team up against me," she whined, causing Elsa to laugh again. But Anna's next question was a serious one. "Elsa... when?"

Elsa's smile faded. They had talked about this topic not often, but more and more lately. She didn't really understand why Anna was so adamant about this. "I don't know, Anna," she answered, looking into the sky again. "I'm in no hurry."

"But why, Elsa?" Suddenly Anna's face blocked her view. "Why aren't you looking for someone? Don't you want to have someone like Kristoff? Not that you can HAVE Kristoff, of course..."

"Anna!" Elsa stopped another rambling in its tracks. "Romantic love is not really important to me." Her gaze became softer. "A year ago I didn't even think that I would ever feel YOUR love again... and sometimes you still overwhelm me."

For one more moment Anna continued to stare at her with a deep frown, but then she started smiling again. "Well, alright," she said cheekily, "there probably ISN'T even a man out there who could love you as much as I do." Elsa chuckled, while the younger girl continued: "I think we would look very cute together – and I'm sure YOU would look awesome in a suit, with me as the blushing, innocent bride..."

"Hey!" Elsa interrupted her, raising an eyebrow. It was always amusing to see Anna's mind doing its highly chaotic work. "Why do I have to be the groom?"

Anna put a finger on her lip. "You're right," she mumbled, seemingly lost in thought. "Kristoff said that I wouldn't like boring work like ice-harvesting, but that I'd probably look really good in a pair of trousers..."

"Oh? He's picturing you in all kinds of clothes already? I think I should have a word with him soon..." As Anna wanted to answer, Elsa waved dismissively. "I am just joking, Anna. Kristoff is a good man. But isn't he a bit jealous that you are spending so much time with me?"

Anna laid down, putting her head on Elsa's shoulder. "Even if me and Kristoff were married," Anna said softly while closing her eyes, "I'd still spend your birthday with you. No one who really loves me should make me choose between them and you."

Elsa smiled as another wave of warmth flooded her body. She hugged Anna's head closer and kissed her hair. "I'm glad that you are responsible this time," she whispered. "I love you, Anna."

"I love you too," Anna replied and her hand found Elsa's. "That's why I don't like it that you aren't even looking for love. It's great that we can hug now, but kissing Kristoff feels really amazing – you should also have someone who makes you feel that way."

"And then more than kissing?" Elsa continued. "Anna, don't you think it could be dangerous, if I lose myself in passion?"

Anna turned around and faced Elsa. Elsa blinked. Why was she looking slightly angry? "And what if you don't?" Anna challenged her. "What if your passion was a warm enough feeling to block your powers from harming your loved one?"

"And what if not?" Elsa replied a bit annoyed. She didn't want to fight with Anna. "Look, Anna, if I HAD a true love, I might consider taking a risk – if my love was willing to take it too. But I don't even have one! I'm very happy right now, and I'm perfectly fine with having a childless marriage of convenience. I could still be the loving aunt of your children and they could take over the throne in the future. Why is this so important to you?"

"Me? Why isn't it important to YOU?" Anna was pushing herself up and glared at her sister. "YOU have suffered a horrible childhood! YOU have sacrificed your freedom! YOU couldn't express your feelings for so long and now you tell me that you are FINE with continuing your life without romantic love, sacrificing even more possible happiness? That's infuriating!"

Elsa frowned. "Anna, stop that!" she ordered, her voice hard. "I'm glad that you care about me so much, really, but this is MY life, and I will decide how I want to live it! And right now I DON'T wish to search for someone to hold and love and kiss me! Stop being unreasonable!"

"Unreasonable?" Anna spat and clenched her teeth. For a moment Elsa thought that Anna would start to fight her. "I'll give you unreasonable!"

And with that she pushed her lips against Elsa's. And the world froze.

Quite literally actually. Neither Elsa nor Anna did realize it in this moment, but when Elsa dug her fingers into the soft earth beneath her in utter shock, the magic inside of her immediately froze all of their surroundings. Elsa was paralyzed. She couldn't react, she couldn't even think. She could only feel how Anna's soft chest pressed against her own while the younger girl's lips gently massaged her own.

_Soft..._

Had she ever felt like this before? How was she feeling anyway? To Elsa it seemed like there was somebody thinking these thoughts, but she wasn't even sure if it was her. She just felt... weird. Every major muscle in her body was tense to the point of ripping apart, but that was just a minor concern... since in contrast the sensations in her lips were overloading her brain.

_Warm and soft..._

Something deep inside of her... growled? Feelings... instincts... she had hidden away fourteen years ago. In the first years of her imprisonment the simple desire to feel human skin had nearly driven her crazy... only fear and self-control had kept her sane. But this desire, the jealousy at anyone who could freely touch another human without terror, the pure WANT hadn't gone away... she had controlled it, imprisoned it, until she had forgotten about it herself.

_Hot!_

Heat shot through every vein of her body, as her arms reacted on her own and embraced the other body... such a WARM body! She couldn't even think anymore, since the heat had taken over her whole body. Never before in her life she had felt so HOT! All of her instincts were focused on the body lying on her, the lips on her own. A deep, low moan escaped her throat. She WANTED this! She NEEDED this! For so very long she had been scared of touching other humans... no more!

_Mine!_

Sparks of excitement intermixed with the liquid fire that was pulsating through her veins, while her forbidden spot began aching for attention. A primal hunger was taking over her body, and she didn't want to fight it – this was what she had wanted for so long. Her lips reacted on their own, melting into their counterpart, while her hips frantically rubbed against another leg, trying to ease this sweet, sweet pain down there...

And then it was gone. Had there been a gasp? She wasn't sure, the blood in her ears was still rushing way too loud. But suddenly the other lips weren't there anymore, the weight of the other body was gone, and Elsa was suddenly panting really hard. Thoughts were still flowing very slowly, but since her body temperature was normalizing now and the throbbing... there was decreasing, her sense of self came back. What had happened right now, she asked herself dizzily. Then she opened her eyes.

_Anna!_

Her sister was sitting in front of her, her hand in front of her mouth. Her chest was moving rather fast, but the rest of the younger girl was completely still. And the girl was staring at Elsa with horror. Why? What had happened? What... Then Elsa's eyes shot open. And Anna's hand dropped.

"I'm sorry," the other girl managed to croak out. "So sorry."

Then Anna jumped on her feet and tumbled away from her, ignoring the horse, moving into the direction their carriage was waiting for them. On the fringes of her consciousness Elsa noticed that the grass and the flowers didn't look good... she remembered that she had frozen them, but right now there wasn't a shred of ice on the whole glade... not even puddles of water. But the main part of Elsa could only gape at her fleeing sister. This was still quite... surreal.

"I'm so sorry, Elsa."

This time she could hear the tears in Anna's voice. And that's when it hit her. Anna had kissed her! Kissed her! On her mouth, like a lover would! And...

"Oh no," Elsa whimpered and buried her head in her knees. "Nonononono..."

She felt the ice creeping out of her being, freezing and killing every flower on the glade instantly. She could faintly hear the horse neighing nervously, but she didn't care. She had LIKED it! She had RELISHED the feeling! Her sister had done something stupid for whatever unimaginable reason, but SHE should have stopped it! SHE was the big sister! SHE was supposed to take care of Anna, prevent her from doing something so stupid... and instead she had reacted with wanton lust!

Elsa felt like puking, as disgust at herself filled the emptiness inside of her that the heat had left behind. She should have never been born! All the time, all the frickin' time, everything she was doing was hurting Anna! Why couldn't she just have a normal relationship with the most important person in her life? Why did it have to be tainted by such desires?

As Elsa started weeping, the ice had encased the whole glade. And as self-hate, hopelessness and shame completely consumed the young queen, it kept growing, swallowing the wood around her.


End file.
